Let's be real - if you burnout, you're doing yourself a disservice.
We all know this deep down, but it’s hard to see the burnout as it creeps up on you. As ambitious career women who really do want it all – a career, a life, a dog, being a parent, having a full social life, etc. the burnout risk is very real.
As for me, post C-Suite promotion and newly postpartum, I wanted it all without any compromise. This led to the need to take time out, to reassess my own self-care habits and priorities. I don’t want anyone feel they have to sacrifice their life or identity to do it all, so I’m sharing the learnings and big “aha” moments I had while on my three month sabbatical.
Here’s what I learned:
Self-Care is essential for health and performance.
It’s so cliché, and so true. When burnt out, I didn’t show up in work or life or as a mother in a way that made me fulfilled or happy. It was a disservice to myself, my career and my family. It really shouldn’t be a negative to take time out to care for ourselves, whether 5 minutes, 5 days or whatever that looks like for you. You may need to adjust or sacrifice in other areas, but this is non-negotiable.
Struggling to find easy ways to fit it in? Check out these tips.
My priorities were way out of whack.
As I mentioned above, I wasn’t showing up in ways that fulfilled me. I was putting almost all of my attention on work. I was burnt out and depressed and would wake up late (8.55 am), dial in for my 9 am meetings from home, work hard all day, and then have zero left in the tank for myself or my family. I was giving all I had to work and virtually nothing to the people who really matter (me, my partner, and our baby). I justified this by thinking I was setting a good example by working hard and helping to provide for my family. Still, ultimately, I prioritized work over everything else because I put too much pressure on myself to be a boss. I love my career and practically speaking, need money to pay the bills. So, it was hard to step back and think about realistic ways to re-balance my priorities, but it was very well worth it.
Work might be the number one priority for you and your life stage, or it might be going to the gym or looking after your family. My advice is:
- don’t lose yourself along the way
- throwing yourself into only ONE priority will result in an unbalanced life
- re-assess your priorities as your life changes
You know your body and your mind – you just need to listen to it.
Before burnout hits, our body and mind will send out warning signals, or as I like to call them – “Orange Flags”. It’s our job to listen to them. This can be really fucking hard when you’re working crazy hours, your mind is running a million miles an hour and you have run-of-the-mill life tasks. Everyone is different, but for me the warning signs are things like:
- Falling behind on those run-of-the-mill life tasks. Like letting dishes pile up. Forgetting to check your mailbox. Not doing the laundry. While these are all mundane things that most people don’t enjoy, falling behind on the necessities at home might be a sign that priorities need to be rebalanced (or outsourced).
- Eating for convenience. Yes, in a busy lifestyle, convenience is a good thing, but I mean – not paying attention AT ALL, not planning, and not even eating for enjoyment, just shoveling crap into my mouth after a long day at work.
- Having no time to see friends or family or enjoy hobbies. To be honest, I don’t have many hobbies (lol) but do love a long chat on the phone with my sisters or a brunch with the girls. When the things you enjoy fall by the wayside, it’s definitely an Orange Flag.
The net net here is to understand what your Orange Flags are, and not to let them get out of control before you reassess.
You don't have to (and shouldn't) go it alone
One word: Therapy. Another two words: Life Coach. Hopefully negative stigmas around therapy have dissipated over the years, especially with so many vocal mental health advocates in the spotlight today (hello Simone Biles). If you don’t know where to start, ask your doctor. I still do therapy once a week – it’s on my calendar – and I believe it’s a healthy tool to help unpack friction in life, and support positive changes.
Most people probably need a time-out.
At first, I was worried and scared that taking a sabbatical would be detrimental to my career. I knew it was absolutely necessary and non-negotiable, but still feared the consequences. What I found was that even though I didn’t tell people I was burnt out and depressed, when I told them I was taking time off, MANY people applauded the decision. I received so many messages from friends and colleagues saying they were proud of my decision, and my managers have commented that others should prioritize taking time out as well. I think deep down most people want or need some time to themselves, but rarely do they take it.
It’s really fucking brave to admit that you’re a work-in-progress.
None of these learnings were easy, and I’m sure it’s not going to be a walk in the park to implement changes long-term. Work, life and priorities will inevitably change over time but keeping a caring and gentle eye on my energy, physical, mental and social health is going to be a constant work in progress. Like my own personal ongoing self-assessment.
I’d love to hear from you and here about your tips for balance and well-being! Reach out below xx
